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Editors Notes By Jeni Nichols Finding The Funny Bone By Beth High Humor, it's Serious Business By Pat Schally Lighten Up Your Thinking By Kraemer Winslow Elegance on the Enterprise By Holly Seaton

Dear Readers, Doesn’t it feel good to have a laugh with a colleague? Haven’t you felt the tension in a meeting start to dissipate as soon as someone cracked a joke? Suddenly, that awkward, all-elbows moment passes as the hot air slowly cools and clears. There is no doubt in my mind that work is far more enjoyable (and PS: more work actually gets done) when leaders don’t take themselves so seriously and do their best to cultivate a light and fun working environment. Looking back over the years, it’s the laughs, the shared celebrations, and the good times that I recall and rejoice in recalling—not the sticky, conflict-riddled moments with colleagues—these have no foothold in my mind.

This issue of The Leader’s Almanac takes a look at the lighter side of leadership. I like to think of a leader as a curator of humor. A good leader can tease out the humor, in all its different forms, in the workplace. Making humor a force-fit isn’t the idea here. That’s not fit or funny at all. I recently saw a humorous example of forcing humor in the movie “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”. In the film, Borat travels America, posing as a television personality from Kazakhstan, making a documentary. In order to better understand the American culture, and what Americans think of as funny, he hires a “Humor Coach”. The results are hysterically funny watching the coach try to teach Borat how to make jokes. I am not advocating hiring a Humor Coach but I am hoping that this issue will give you new insights into how humor and the lighter side can be a leadership skill that you practice daily.

Our writers have taken on our light topic in a variety of ways. Beth High sees humor as a way of connecting with people, tapping into our shared humanity. Kraemer Winslow, working with the teachings of physicist/philosopher David Bohm, reinforces the value of staying open to seeing something new, something different. Holly Seaton reminds us of those light moments in Star Trek at the end of each episode when Captain Kirk reviews lessons learned with a humorous reflection, sometimes even a joke. (There are a few of you Trekkies out there, aren’t there?) Pat’s Pearls of Wisdom point out how to infuse humor into your leadership style.

I hope you enjoy our visit to the lighter side of leadership. . . no Humor Coach needed!

Jeni Nichols Queen of Connections

by Beth High High Road Consulting

Abraham Lincoln, now that was a man who really knew how to be serious. Take a look at the penny for goodness sakes. That’s serious in every sense. Our sixteenth President, though, also had a lighter side. A renowned storyteller, Lincoln knew just how to engage and entertain his audience using his trademark slow-and-easy delivery style. He also was able to use his impressive stature and carriage to command attention and respect. Lincoln, like no other leader, had what it takes: a compelling combination of loftiness and levity.

On the levity side, Lincoln was known to regale his listeners with the 19th century equivalent of knock-knock jokes one of which went: "How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” You can bet that got some tongues wagging North to South. You can also bet that Lincoln’s whimsical wit went a long way toward cutting the tension during those battle-brittle Civil War years.

A certain amount of another kind of tension is apparent in the presence of anyone who has power and authority. It’s in the air, all around them. You feel it. Then, all of a sudden, they crack a joke. Abracadabra! You smile, you laugh, you relax, and somehow you feel a little closer to them, any of them, all of them who come from Mt. Olympus offering up a joke. Humor does that. It makes us feel connected.

It's been that way for a long time. Consider how we connect with our babies: we make them laugh with our ridiculous noises. Consider our childhood friendships, all solidified by shared giggles in school or after lights out. Laughter is the glue, bringing us closer together by tapping into our shared humanity.

As leaders we need to cultivate that connection between ourselves and our followers. We want them to see the the humanity in situations. Even more important, we want them to see the very real and very human side of us and the wonderfully warty human side of each other. What better way to show this than by lightening up and sharing a good laugh—there’s no such thing as a bad one. As a leader, if you can make people laugh, you will connect with them. So keep those jokes and stories at the ready, keep the laughs coming.

Gulp… anyone starting to feel nervous? Palms sweaty? Throat dry? The question that’s stuck there: As leaders, are we really expected to be entertainers? After all, we don't expect our entertainers to be leaders. Or do we? Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger notwithstanding, humor is an art form and just like art, no two people produce it the same way. Think of the comedians like Robin Williams, Bill Cosby, and Ellen DeGeneres. They’re all a riot and they each prompt that riot in different ways. Each has a style unique to them, making it authentic and genuine.

So get your own brand of humor that you can fold into your leadership style. How do you do this? Think back to the times you've made someone laugh. Think about what you said or did to bring that grin to an employee’s face. Remember that time you made that grisly meeting better by giving the group a chance to let off some steam and crack up. Let such moments be your guide.

Such a review of past performance will undoubtedly yield many moments of mirth that you’ve probably overlooked or forgotten. Maybe it was a self-deprecating remark that you made that turned down the amps in the room. Or perhaps you were able to point out some endearing human foible we all share yet rarely acknowledge. Or maybe you just shared a story that made you laugh till you cried. Whatever worked, worked because it came from the heart of the funny bone--the one we all share. Honor it, be genuine, and use it.

There is one exception: mean jokes. Making fun at someone else's expense doesn't create connection, it creates disturbance and distance. So, are blonde jokes out of the question? Look at your audience. If there are any light heads bobbing, you better head your humor elsewhere. No joke.

by Pat Schally, CPCC Certified Business and Leadership Coach

Business--profits, competition, innovation--all this is the stuff of very serious business, right? If you buy that, then surely you’ll buy this: Serious business demands more serious leaders to achieve these serious corporate goals. No wimpy light-weights need apply. Just heavy-duty, humorless heavyweights, thank you.

The same holds true for politics. Think Richard Nixon in his famous 1960 TV debate with John F. Kennedy. During that debate, Nixon was a study in sweaty seriousness. You have to give it to him; he did serious very, very well, so well that he lost the debate for all his serious efforts. Yet politics is indeed serious business, right? Why just look at all that jockeying around (competition) those candidates have to do to be front-runners. All the fundraising (profits) they do, all the innovation in service of their campaigns.

Same old serious story for non-profit organizations, education, volunteerism or entrepreneurship. Here again leaders must succeed (seriously) since they confront the same challenges. Long hours at work and few rewards make these folks successful. But, hey, they know how to grimace, hunker down and get things done.

To all of this I say a big B.S. Not so. Think of your most inspiring business leader, political figure or even that guy washing your windshield while you’re at a traffic light. What makes you want to follow that leader, campaign for that politician or buy the services of that windshield washer? I submit it is quite simply the humor that person puts into his/her approach to life. It’s this, their humor, that makes them attractive; it draws you to them, it, makes you somehow, well, dare I say it, happier.

If humor is as important as I believe it is, how do you infuse it into your leadership style and into your life? Here are some tips, some Pearls from Pat:

1. Communicate a difficult message to others with humor. 2. Allow humor to express taboo topics with ease. 3. Use humor to keep lines of communication open in spite of conflict. 4. Perfect self-depreciating humor to show your human side. 5. Laugh loud, laugh often—it puts you and those around you in a good mood.

Bill Cosby said it well: “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”

by Kraemer Winslow Executive Coach Make Your Point Communications

What does it mean to lighten up? The first thing that comes to mind is something I learned from my friend, the physicist/philosopher David Bohm. A true thought leader in his field, Bohm talks about the importance of being open to seeing something new and something different. This doesn’t just make philosophical sense but pragmatic sense as well--for what we see today may indeed change tomorrow based on new information that comes to light. A flexibility tool, that’s what Bohm holds in his hand. What could be more important at work and at home?

Bohm loved to explore how our thinking--conscious and unconscious--creates reality and how some thinking can keep us stuck. He would often play with words and their roots to make a point. This playfulness delighted all of those fortunate enough to hear him speak. In one of his lectures, Bohm demonstrated how thought generally moves from being fluid, light and playful to being more formed and solid, sometimes to the point of calcification. This is thought taking its natural course from light and loose to dark and dense.

To track this trajectory, we start with the first thought launching pad, “posit,” which means to put or to place out there some form of proposal. In this propose stage, thought, in its infancy, is still light and playful, flexible and unformed, just one of many possibilities on offer. An example of this would be a brainstorming session where no thought or idea is rejected and, ideally, no one is attached to any one particular thought.

In the compose stage, we begin to take our thoughts a bit more seriously. Forms start to develop as our thoughts combine with others to build concepts. After that, watch out. For we may enter the suppose phase or assume that our thoughts or ideas are correct and true. This in turn may dispose us to think, see, feel in a certain way. From there we may take our more hardened thinking and shove it into someone else’s face. It’s at this impose impasse where we may face resistance from others who oppose our ideas/thinking. It’s here at this expose stage that our frozen block-headed thinking can become thawed and seen for what it truly is, simply our thinking, not actual fact.

Why does all this matter in our daily lives? Well, the more we can look at our thoughts as just that--ideas that started their lives as baby proposals, the easier it will be to keep them light and open to question as they get older. Understanding this progression from propose to expose helps clear away the mental cobwebs and reminds us to keep close those thoughts worth keeping, the ones that continue to stand up under new evidence. It also helps prevent us from getting into the uncomfortable position of imposition and also keeps our thinking fresh and free and ever-open to question.

“Healthy thought,” declares Bohm, “is always open to seeing something new and something different.” Ironically, I know I’ve hit pay dirt when I want to impose a thought or belief on others. When opposed, I usually feel a strong tightness in my diaphragm. That means I must expose my thinking and examine it more carefully. Being open to seeing something new and something different isn’t always easy but it sure does lead to a much lighter, more responsive life.

by Holly Seaton Holly is an Executive Coach and her motto is “Inspiring and developing the human side of business”

“Elegant.” That was the word one intense litigation-attorney client of mine used to sum up his goals. “I have always wanted,” he declared, “to behave in an elegant way.” Elegant men, no matter how warm-hearted, do not get loud and spurt out humor at inappropriate times which was exactly what this man did and Cary Grant wouldn’t. Nor would Cary get into a snit with the senior partners he’d idealized as family. If Cary did he would likely feel disappointed, unappreciated and undervalued just like this out-of-step attorney did. What he did, specifically, was construe partner communications as reinforcing his own lack of influence in the firm, sparking defensiveness and a whole passel of messy, inelegant reactions.

Caught in a repeat loop, the dizzy legal eagle was flying nowhere fast when I suggested that he visualize somebody he admired who could elegantly handle conflict while at the same time evincing vulnerability. A few days later, I received an e-mail from him signed Captain Kirk. At our next meeting, he walked into my office smiling and smirking and explaining the ah-ha moment he’d had while preparing a client for a deposition. “I told my client to just act like Captain Kirk sitting in his chair on the deck of the Enterprise. Be Captain Kirk.” It was then that he had his realization “I can be Captain Kirk.”

Some months later, this retread Trekkie brought me a book he had discovered at a garage sale. By that time the book, “All I Really Needed to Learn I Learned from Star Trek”, was no surprise but my response to it was. I actually found myself intrigued and set out to explore the leadership universe of Captain James Tiberius Kirk. After all, he was a great leader and a good manager of people, oozing dedication, adaptability and respect. He was well-known intergalactically, at the top of his form and profession, and he even admired the potential wisdom of the next generation.

Kirk had a minimalist way with words, captivating his followers with a mission statement that was as clear and concise as it was compelling. Few could question his invitation “to boldly go where no man has gone before.” (We’ll ignore the fact that women couldn’t go there boldly or otherwise.) Kirk also believed in a team approach; every Enterprise crew member played a part in a mission which was never about conquering things, but about seeking knowledge. That doesn’t mean that everything was always hunky-dory. Yet whatever was going on, Captain Kirk did not avoid it or any other conflict. Instead, he went about proactively addressing any challenges, sometimes making use of Spock in strategic ways that enabled him to collect more information.

Original thought always prevailed and produced solutions to seemingly unthinkable and undoable situations. Managing the specialized strengths of his diverse crew wisely, the good captain always knew when to take charge, when to co-lead, and when to allow Spock to over-ride his decisions. Collaborative creativity, the hallmark of his management style, led to spectacular achievements. Captain Kirk was a clear exemplar, managing to strike a balance between his own strengths and foibles.

At the end of each Star Trek episode, Captain Kirk would be sitting in his chair on the bridge, reviewing the lessons just learned or pondering the future. Sitting upright by his side was his loyal crew who he would regale with a joke, a smile, or some humorous reflection. It was then that the light was felt in all that darkness of space and that “Beam me up, Scotty” struck just the right note. Yes, Captain Kirk, you were no Cary Grant, but you certainly were one elegant leader.

In Vol.2. Issue 4, Fall 2006, “The Dark Side of Leadership”, we discussed dithering and selfish bosses. We got this reaction:

Dithering and selfish? How about alcoholic? Word to the wise, don't promote a radio GM to his first TV GM job in Las Vegas unless you do a drug and alcohol screening. The guy actually came to a morning department-head meeting drunk.4 Shortly thereafter he disappeared to rehab and was never seen again. That's the good news. The bad news is corporate demoted the guy who hired him and moved him from the mothership to our little network affiliate in Vegas. Never want to work for a guy with a chip on his shoulder.—G.C.    

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